Cast Off
by Pearsforgranite1
Summary: Peter just wants to stay under the radar - avoiding attention and complete embarrassment. Unfortunately, between Flash and the Hulk, that just isn't a wish that's getting granted.
1. Chapter 1

A/N:

I just watched Spiderman:Homecoming and had to try writing Peter.

It's not great, but I'm sick *cough* *hack* *cough*. I literally wrote this just now in bed and wanted to share before the meds made me too droopy. So enjoy/don't enjoy, I don't care….No, wait, I'm kidding! Please enjoy!

* * *

"Is this actually happening or are we actually having a communal stroke as a team?" Tony questioned the ridiculous scene before him and the rest of the Avengers.

Sam replied, sounding faint and incredulous, "No, it's actually happening. This is real life."

"I should probably pinch Barton, just to be sure though, right?...OW!" Tony rubbed his arm where Clint had reached over and punched him.

"There. Proof you're not dreaming or stroking out."

"So then what exactly am I looking at right now?"

Silence met Tony's question. Nobody on the team knew how to adequately explain so they all just continued to stand inside the training room's entryway and watch.

Sitting cross-legged on the floor like a toddler was the Hulk patiently learning how to arm-knit using reinforced webbing supplied by Peter. By binding several strands of non-sticky webbing together, Peter was able to produce a thread thick enough for the Hulk to navigate into a pretty decent scarf.

"Awesome, man! This is gonna look so great!" Peter encouraged as he stood beside the Hulk, directing him through a simple knit and purl technique.

The Hulk just grumbled, but it was obvious he was thoroughly enjoying himself. He clearly had a soft spot for the youngest Avenger, even allowing him to climb up on his legs to help him correct a mistake.

"No, like this." Peter slowly showed him the over-under pattern again, guiding his hands through the motions.

Peter couldn't believe this was his life right now. He had been training by himself (okay, so maybe just taking videos of himself doing really cool parkour and sending them to Ned) when all of a sudden the Hulk busted through the doors, roaring his head off.

Peter and Bruce got along really well. He couldn't be 100%, but he was pretty sure Bruce actually liked it when he hung around the labs soaking up everything like a sponge. He'd met the Hulk a few times – they got along in battle really well, but never had the Hulk been alone with just Peter and definitely never when he'd been out of the suit.

Peter had been dangling upside down on the ceiling when the Hulk spotted him. He had made to charge Peter and probably rip him off the ceiling, but stopped as soon as Peter started frantically waving his arms and spoke.

"Big Green! Hey! It's me – Spiderman! No smashy! _Please_ , _god_ , no smashy!"

"Spider?" Hulk's vocabulary was limited and each word was kinda garbled, but he got his point across more often than not. He knew Bruce really liked the little spider and Hulk himself thought he was a lot of fun during a battle – always webbing bad guys towards him to smash. He didn't recognize him without the red and blue skin though, but he knew that voice.

"Yeah, yeah, that's right! It's me – Spiderman! I'm just not in my normal suit is all, but it's still me – Peter! See!" He proceeded to web himself across the room before flipping down and landing in front of Hulk.

"Spider!" Never one to shy away from displaying his rare affection, he grabbed Peter "Oof!" and carted him off to sit in corner of the room which had a bunch of padding on the floor. He plopped down and proceeded to hold him in a weird combination of death choke and cuddle. Three minutes in and Peter was seriously worried about his ability to continue breathing.

"Umm…so, this…uh, this is really nice, big guy, but I kinda can't breathe. I mean, it's no biggie, death – who cares? but maybe you could let me go…please?"

Hulk grumbled his displeasure and hugged him a little tighter. "Nice."

"Yeah, no, it is nice. The nicest. Nice and cozy." Peter was quick to reassure and blurted out the first alternative his oxygen deprived brain could think of, "Wanna know what's even more nice and more cozy? A scarf or blanket! I could show you how to knit one! It'll be super fun!"

Making a curious noise, the Hulk released him. After a good 30 seconds of panting and heaving in air, Peter then somehow began the craziness of teaching the Hulk how to knit using his gigantic green arms. About 2 minutes in, the Hulk began grumbling his impatience and frustration over the complex task and Peter decided to play some classical music, a genre he knew Bruce liked. Immediately the grumbling stopped and the Hulk calmed down. Eventually he began swaying while listening to Peter. Peter was sure Bruce would reappear any minute now that the Hulk was calm, but 30 minutes and a decent sized scarf/blanket thing later, Bruce was still Hulked out.

Not that Peter minded – the Hulk was awesome, but he could see the rest of the team by the doors taking pictures and video of him. No doubt collecting enough fodder to embarrass both him and Bruce for months. He figured there was no harm in asking nicely.

"Hey! So now that you've made a kick-ass web scarf/blanket…thing…could I talk to Bruce?" Hulk immediately started grumbling. "Only I need his help with some homework! I can totally show you some more awesome knitting stuff next time! I promise!" He tried to throw in some puppy-eyes for good measure, which had the Hulk huffing out a breath with some unintelligible mumbling. After patting Peter on the head with a "Good Peter Spider", the Hulk immediately began shrinking and de-greening.

As soon as a purple, stretch-panted Bruce was revealed, the team immediately burst into the room, laughing their asses off.

"What the?" Bruce lifted off what appeared to be a white blanket made out of Peter's webbing.

He looked up to see a red-faced Peter put his head in his hands and the rest of his team with their phones out.

"Don't tell me. I don't want to know."

* * *

"Hey Penis!"

Peter ignored Flash as he whispered behind him in his Engineering class while Mr. Harrington said something about something.

"Penis! Hey _Penis!_ I'm talking to you!"

Only ten minutes left until school let out for the day. He could make it without turning around and punching Flash, no problem.

"PenisPenisPenisPenisPenisPenisPenisPenis Parker."

Okay, maybe not. In an uncharacteristic show of frustration, Peter turned around and was about to say something detention-worthy when the teacher interrupted him.

"Mr. Parker! What did I just say?"

Ugh, he could never catch a break. Sighing, Peter turned around, but not before seeing Flash's smug, smirking face.

"Umm, there's a field trip in a week?"

Mr. Harrington raised an eyebrow, "And where are we going?"

Peter cringed internally and slumped low in his seat, "Uh, I don't know. Sorry."

"Yes, that's what I thought. Next time - detention."

"Yessir."

The teacher then handed out fieldtrip forms, which Peter crammed into his bag without reading, and dismissed them.

Barely five steps out the door and he was mocked with, "Penis! You must be thrilled we're going to see your best buddy Tony Stark. Maybe you should give us the tour, seeing as you're so familiar with the tower, right?"

Confused, Peter looked at Flash, "What?"

Ned jumped in excitedly, waving his fieldtrip form, "The field trip next week is to the Avengers Tower! We're going to get to see some of Stark's R&D floors!"

Feeling the blood drain from his face, Peter ripped the form out of Ned's hand, "What?!" Reading it over confirmed what Ned had said. With the additional information of a meet and greet with Tony Stark and Dr. Bruce Banner.

"What's the matter, Parker? Afraid your best friend Tony won't recognize you? That we'll all have concrete proof that the ridiculous internship is a lie?"

Peter completely ignored Flash, more focused on the potential embarrassment Tony and the rest of the team will unleash upon him during the field trip.

Dragging Ned away from a grandstanding Flash, Peter filled him in, "I can't go!"

"What? Why?! This is going to be awesome. The school has been asking for years for a tour and this is the first year they've said yes!"

"Yeah, because of me! I can just imagine what kind of stuff Mr. Stark and the team have planned to embarrass me."

"Peter. You are way over-reacting. Calm down. Mr. Stark can't say anything because your identity is a secret. What is the worst he could do?"

Peter groaned, "That's what I'm afraid of."

* * *

The next day was thankfully a Saturday, so no school. Unfortunately, he had training all day at the tower. A fact he normally loved. He and the team were gelling way better than he could've ever hoped, even though he knew the team looked at him as a surrogate nephew or something. He tried to be serious and act more grown-up, but it was hard to keep in his excitement when he was learning so much awesome stuff. Unfortunately, he was compared to an over-eager puppy more often than not.

That camaraderie unfortunately brought with it torment in the form ribbing, and today he was going in, heart in hand, to meekly ask his teammates not to embarrass him.

Entering the elevator, he addressed Friday, "Hey Friday! How's it going?"

"Hello Peter. As always, it is going."

"Good. That's good. Where is everybody?"

"They are all in the communal kitchen. Shall I take you up?"

"Yes, please. Thank you."

"You are very welcome, Peter." He was probably imagining it, but it could've sworn Friday's voice became a little softer when speaking to him. He liked to think she had a soft spot for him.

Stepping off the elevator, Peter was immediately greeted warmly.

"Spiderweb! Welcome back!" Clint.

"Маленький паук." (Little Spider) Natasha.

"Hi Peter. " Steve and Bruce.

"Hey kiddo. Come and eat." Tony waved him over, holding out a plate of pasta for him.

"Hey guys!"

He couldn't help the stars in his eyes. It had been months since he started training as part of the team and he still couldn't pretend to be even a little cool around them. It usually took about 10 minutes for him to collect himself after arriving. It helped that they all looked so normal – just a bunch of people sitting around, eating pasta. Nevermind that it was Captain America who had pasta stains on his shirt, or that it was the guy who turned into the Hulk attempting to twirl gluten-free pasta on his fork, or that it was Black Widow threatening Hawkeye when he kept trying to steal her last meatball.

"See, this is why he's afraid we'll embarrass him in front of all his little friends next week." Tony said as he watched the two world class spies devolve into a couple of children.

Clint let out a muffled, yet triumphant, "Ha!" when he was able to snag a bite of the meatball, quickly followed by a yelp when Natasha then fork-stabbed him in the leg.

Peter paused, meatball mid-way to his mouth. He hadn't told Tony that. "W-what?"

Tony smirked at him. "A little, hot Italian birdie told me you didn't want to come to the tower next week because you're afraid we'll be anything other than cool around you and your classmates."

"Peter, is this true?" Captain America's disappointed face was brutal.

Peter could feel himself start to redden and tried to stutter out a denial.

"N-no! Of course not! You guys are awesome! I-" He cut himself off when he realized the Steve and the team were laughing at him. "You guys suck!" He stuffed the meatball in his mouth and spewed out, "This is why I don't want to come!"

"Ugh. Jesus, kid. Manners. And that's coming from me!" Tony held up his hand as if shielding himself from Peter's see-food.

Bruce, ever the voice of calming reassurance, laid his fears to rest. "Peter, you don't have anything to worry about. We promise we won't do anything embarrassing to you. Outside of Tony, none of us are even supposed to know you, technically." Looking around at his teammates, he continued, "We wouldn't do anything to jeopardize your identity or safety."

Everyone nodded. Even Clint was serious as he said, "Yeah Spiderweb, don't worry about it. Just come and enjoy the trip. You won't even see us."

Smiling sheepishly, he let out a small, "Thank you." and proceeded to stuff his face with the best pasta he'd ever eaten.

* * *

Peter felt like Ned was going to rip his arm off he kept shaking it so hard with excitement.

"OhmygodohmygodohmyGOD! This is so amazing!" Ned, along with the rest of the 30some other students in attendance, stood gaping at the lobby of the Avenger's tower.

"Yes, yes, I know, Ned. I know. But could you maybe let go of my arm? I kinda need it." Peter gently removed Ned's hand from his bicep.

"Oh, sorry, dude. But OMG! I can't believe you come here all the time!"

Peter was about to shush him (he didn't want to be bombarded with questions or disbelieving ridicule from his classmates) when Flash spoke up,

"Yeah, Penis, that's right. Why don't you go ahead and lead the tour. You're the expert after all."

Ignoring all the mean chuckles from his classmates, Peter opted for a strategic retreat and made his way to the back of the group, dragging Ned along with him.

He could see Flash making his way towards him to continue his jeering, when all of a sudden Friday's voice came over the lobby.

"Good day students."

The group immediately stilled in surprise and looked up at the ceiling as the voice continued.

"My name is Friday. I am Mr. Stark's Artificial Intelligence program charged with the daily operations of the tower. If you would please make your way to the elevators on the far west wall, I will take you to the R&D levels where Mr. Stark and Dr. Banner are awaiting you arrival."

"Whoa."

"OMG!"

"I want one."

There were enough elevators that Ned and Peter were able to snag one by themselves unseen by the rest of the class who were sardined into the 5 remaining elevators.

Taking a deep breath, Peter greeted the AI, "Hey Friday! How's it going?"

"Hello Peter! As always, it is going."

"She knows you?! This is awesome. Why didn't you tell me you were on a first name basis with an AI?"

Peter just shrugged. "Hey Friday, uh, where is the rest of the team? Are they on the R&D floors too?"

"The rest of the team is on the communal floor. Would you like me to take you up?"

"YES!" Ned all but shouted at the elevator's ceiling.

"No! No, thank you, Friday. We need to stick with the rest of the class."

"Very well. Here you are."

"Thank you Friday."

"You're very welcome, Peter."

"Yeah, thanks Friday!" Ned waved and smiled at the ceiling.

"You're also very welcome, Mr. Leeds."

Ned gasped in amazement. "How does she know my name?!"

Peter laughed, his mood brightening, "You're my best friend, of course she knows your name." He didn't bother mentioning that she knew everyone's name because she was an AI with almost unlimited access to everyone's information.

Exiting the elevator, they joined the rest of the students as they waited in the R&D department. Spanning 3 floors, they stood on the mezzanine level, looking up towards two sets of escalators leading up to labs encased in glass walls. It looked like a mall more than a Research and Development Department.

"That's an awful lot of shock and awe for someone who is supposedly an intern here."

Peter's shock and awe was interrupted by Flash.

"Well, uh, I don't actually intern in these labs. I help Mr. Stark in a different lab."

Flash raised a mocking eyebrow, "Uh-huh. Cause you're such a genius that Tony Stark has you working on something not even his own R&D department knows about."

Ned groaned, "God, Flash. Would you just give it a rest already?"

"Oh, I would, but I just can't help thinking that Mr. Stark himself would like to know about his intern. He deserves to know the lies you've been spreading at his expense." Flash smirked evilly, "Who know, maybe I'll end up getting an internship out of it."

Turning around he finally left Peter and Ned alone and made his way to the front of the group.

"What a douchecanoe." Ned and Peter looked to their right where Michelle was standing by the wall reading at a book.

They were prevented from responding by the arrival of Peter's secret teammates and not so secret idols.

At the front of the group stood Tony Stark and Bruce Banner. Tony was wearing a flashy suit, while Bruce looked every bit the scientist in his lab coat, wire-rimmed glasses, and messy hair.

"Hello students of Midtown Tech! Welcome to my humble abode!" Tony spread his arms out grandly while Bruce gave a meek wave. Peter could see they were both scanning the group for him. He hunkered down a little lower, trying to hide behind Ned a little.

"Dude! What are you doing?" Ned whispered.

"SHH! Just ignore me! Pretend I'm not here."

Ned shook his head and paid attention to Mr. Stark and Dr. Banner.

"Here at Stark Industries we are at the forefront of innovation in engineering. Whether it's the latest in technology, from our Stark computers to our Stark phones (which each of you will be leaving with)-" this was met with cheers "-or our groundbreaking developments with green energy, it's all here at SI. Welcome!" He clapped his hands together and looked at Bruce as if asking what to do next. Bruce just shrugged. Tony turned back to the group and asked, "So…who wants to help blow stuff up?"

30some odd hands shot up into the air (Peter's included. He couldn't help it. Tony was just too charismatic.)

As Tony led the group towards the escalators, Bruce stepped off to the side, planning on bringing up the rear. He couldn't help but smile as he watched Tony interact with the kids. He could tell they were all extremely nervous around Tony, aka Ironman, but his friend had a way with putting even the shiest and most reserved people at ease. Bruce included.

He watched as an Asian boy stepped right up to Tony, introduced himself as Flash, and asked, "Mr. Stark, do you happen to know a Peter Parker?"

Tony paused and looked at the kid and then the rest of the group, finally spotting Peter hunkered down giving him big Bambi eyes. Assuming Peter didn't want anyone to know about their connection he said, "Peter who? Sorry, can't say the name rings any bells."

Bruce felt a little bit of unease, which was mirrored on Tony's face, at Flash's resulting smile, "Yeah, that's what I thought. Thank you very much, Mr. Stark."

Tony's eyes tracked Flash as he immediately left Tony's side and made his way towards Peter at the back of the group. Tony looked at Bruce and Bruce nodded. He'd go make sure nothing untoward happened at the back of the group.

He snaked around the back, trying to be stealthy, and was therefore privy to what a little shit Flash was, "Hey Penis Parker. Surprise of all surprises, Tony Stark has absolutely no idea who the hell you are!"

Ned looked at Flash like he was crazy, "What? What are you talking about? Mr. Stark and Peter are super tight. Peter even knows his AI, Friday!"

Flash looked at Ned with fake pity, "Poor Ned. Duped by your best friend. Must be tough knowing that the only thing that made you even remotely cool by association was a lie."

Peter looked completely mortified, like he wanted the ground to open up and swallow him. Especially as the majority of the group had stayed behind to listen to Flash. Tony hadn't noticed as he was at the top of the escalators enduring the TMI ramblings of Mr. Harrington and his divorce from his beloved Tabitha.

"So Penis, what do you have to say for yourself? Finally going to admit that you're a lying loser?"

Peter, bless him, tried to walk away from the confrontation. Stepping around Flash to make his way towards Tony, not yet having noticed Bruce. He didn't make it very far before Flash ran in front of him and shoved him backwards.

"Hey Penis! I asked you a question!" Flash shoved him again, amped on the attention from the crowd and his satisfaction at proving Peter wrong.

Bruce knew Peter had super strength and had obviously let himself be pushed back, but he could feel something inside him snap with anger at Flash's actions. He himself wasn't too phased by the happenings. Yes, Flash was a little punk who was bullying his teammate, but he was also a kid and Bruce wasn't about to get Hulk-angry over pubescent immaturity. The Hulk, however, adored Peter. As much as the Hulk can adore anything, anyway. Bruce was convinced of it ever since the knitting, the video of which he had unfortunately been forced to watch several times.

As Flash continued to ridicule and shove Peter, Bruce could feel anger that wasn't quite his own rising. As Peter once again tried to flee the scene, Flash tripped him. Peter was sent sprawling on the floor.

Feeling an overwhelming tidal wave of rage from deep within, Bruce had about one second to yell "Tony! Code Green!" before he lost all sense of himself.

Tony immediately shoved Mr. Harrington to the side (a moment he would enjoy later) and ran down the steps, already calling his suit to him. Thankfully, he had programed Friday to send out an SOS to the team and complete a lockdown on all departments whenever Bruce yelled 'Code Green'.

He watched in horror as the Hulk roared and focused on the Flash kid. He noticed Peter was sprawled on the floor for some reason, but ignored him in favour of yelling at the students to run as he made his way to them.

"Hey, Big Guy!" He said cheerfully to the Hulk, trying to calm him down. "What are you doing? Can we have Brucie back? We're just doing boring science stuff. Nothing to get all green over."

The students were terrified as they watched the Hulk send Tony sprawling to the floor with one sweep of his arm, getting him out of the way. He once again focused on Flash, who was standing stock still, petrified. There were several screams as the Hulk bent lower and roared in Flash's face. Flash had squeezed his eyes shut, clearly expecting to die.

The screaming stopped and Flash's eyes popped open in surprise when the soft sounds of classical music started playing. Peter Parker stood slightly in front of Flash with his phone held out in front of him.

"Hey Big Green! I'm okay! Flash and I were just playing. I'm not hurt!" Peter plastered the biggest and brightest smile he could muster up at the Hulk. Stepping closer he completely blocked Flash with his body.

"Peter Spider hurt?" The Hulk gently prodded Peter in the stomach as if to verify his well-being.

"No, no! I'm great! Never been better!" Peter danced away from his finger. To the disbelief and awe of his classmates, he then proceeded to take Hulk's hand and guide him away from Flash and over to Tony.

"But you hurt Tony. That wasn't very nice. We like Tony, remember?"

Peter bent over and helped Tony up. "You okay, Mr. Stark?"

"Yeah, I'm good, kiddo. But what's with your face?"

Confused, Peter put his hand up to his nose, which he just noticed was throbbing, only for his hand to come away bloody. "Ow."

At his soft expression of pain, the Hulk once again freaked out and turned on Flash.

"Where the hell is my suit and the rest of the team?! FRIDAY!" Tony yelled at the AI.

"They're all on their way, boss. ETA 1 minute."

Seeing the Hulk raise his fist to smash, Tony realized they didn't have 1 minute. They didn't even have 10 seconds.

Tony charged at the kid, fully intending to shove him out of the way and take the hit, but a familiar "swish" of webbing stopped him.

There stood Peter. In his dorky, long-sleeved science pun-riddled t-shirt, with a web shooter pointed out, connecting the Hulk's two fists. In front of everyone.

Completely surprised by the turn of events, the Hulk confusedly raised his joined hands and asked, "Spider Peter?"

"Hey Buddy! I was thinking we could knit again. Remember last week? You loved it. We could go finish that scarf/blanket…thing! Doesn't that sound fun!" Peter coaxed him away from the group, leading him by his webbed hands.

Contented grumbling erupted from the Hulk at the idea. He grabbed Peter "Oof!" and plopped over by the corner, still in front of everyone, and held out his arm, waiting for Peter to start.

A slightly hysterical Peter looked at the group, knowing his cover was blown, and let out an incredulous, "What is my life?!" while releasing strand after strand of webbing to make a thick thread for the Hulk to knit.

It was at that moment that the rest of the Avengers and Tony's suit finally made an appearance. Busting through the doors and vents were Captain America, Falcon, Black Widow, and Hawkeye. They all stopped to assess the situation.

"Again?!" Falcon.

"Who knew the Hulk was secretly an 80 year old lady." Clint.

"Wait, wait, wait. WAIT!" Flash shrilled out. "WHAT?!"

"Ha! I knew it!" Michelle yelled out victoriously.

"What? What do you know?!" Flash asked desperately. "It can't be what I think it is. There's no way. Absolutely no freaking way that Penis Parker is Spiderman."

He turned to Tony, "You said you'd never heard of him!"

Tony shrugged, "Yeah, I lied. Get over it." He looked at the rest of the group. "Get over it and out of my tower. All of you." They all ran for the door. "Don't forget about the nice little NDA you all signed, either. If any of you mention this event and what you've experienced, you'll all be buried under so many lawsuits, you'll be 80 before you can even think of going to college."

Ned watched as the rest of his class ran out the doors, Mr. Harrington in the lead. He looked at Peter, standing in front of the Hulk, saying ridiculous things like 'cast off' and 'knit twice, purl once.'.

"This. Is. AWESOME!"

Stepping closer to Peter, Tony said, "And you thought we would embarrass you."

Peter looked up at the now empty lobby, sighed, and went back to teaching the Hulk how to knit.

* * *

A/N:

Question - should I bother writing a Part 2/Sequel or is it finished enough?

I also wanted to test run writing Peter Parker/Spiderman cause he's going to be in my other fic, which is currently up, and this is what I came up with. If anyone has any suggestions on how to improve upon my characterization, lemme know :)


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:**

So, long time no see :S Thank you so much for such positive feedback to Part I. I thoroughly enjoy and appreciate it. I mean, obviously, I write for me, but I write for you too, so I'm glad you like it, whoever you people are!

I've decided this story has a few chapters left to live. I had originally planned on this being a funny, light-hearted follow-up, but then someone pointed out that Tony and Bruce had heard Peter being bullied and the team wouldn't let it stand. I mean, Flash did give Peter a bloody nose by tripping him to the floor in Part I so now the tone of this fic is more serious. I really hope you still enjoy.

* * *

'Don't throw up. Don't throw up. Don't throw up. Whatever you do, _do not throw up on the train_. Nobody needs to know you had pizza for breakfast.' Peter's inner monologue criticized as he bent forward in his seat trying to calm his nerves and prevent heaving on the Monday morning train to school. He didn't realize that his body had begun rocking back and forth in distress.

"Sweetheart, are you alright?"

The crinkled voice of a kindly old lady pulled Peter's attention away from where it had been focused on the dirty floor (not much else to look at when your head is tucked between your legs). Looking at the small granny next to him and then around the car at the people staring at the spectacle he was making, Peter felt like webbing himself out a window. Lying through his teeth, he tried to convince her he was fine.

"Oh, no, everything's good. Literally couldn't be any better! Thanks for asking. You're the best!" He shot off two finger guns like an idiot and tried to give her a friendly grin, but he could feel his anxiety twisting the smile into something closer to a deranged grimace. He couldn't blame her for her wide-eyed scoot away from him.

Ugh, why was he was such a spaz?

With a self-deprecating groan, he ignored his slightly disturbed audience and went back to his hunched over lamentation of life. He was doomed. Thinking back to Friday's field trip to Stark tower made his stomach churn and he had to repeat his anti-puking mantra.

His whole class knew he was Spiderman. More importantly, _Flash_ knew he was Spiderman which meant _everyone_ now probably knew he was Spider-man. Tony had assured him that the NDA was ironclad and the sheer number and severity of the consequences would prevent any of his classmates from revealing his identity. Peter was banking on the fact that his classmates were all intelligent enough to be terrified into silence. That still didn't stop them from knowing though. He had begged Tony to help have him transferred, but in an ill-timed moment of tough love, Tony had told him that shit happens and when life gives you lemons, you need to break out the vodka and twist the hell out of a martini…Tony's advice wasn't always age appropriate.

A text from Ned thankfully interrupted his panic. Reading it, he felt himself relax a bit:

N: 'Dude, I'm at school and nobody is freaking. Like, nobody.'

P: 'Still gonna sneak in through the back door. Meet in 10?'

N: 'Yeah, ok.'

* * *

Because Peter's luck was comprised of shit, his first class of the day was Mr. Harrington's engineering class – the same group he saved from being Hulk-smashed three days ago. He and Ned were the last to arrive because Peter had needed a few more minutes of hyperventilating in a corner before he was ready to face them all.

As they entered the room, he saw that Ned had been right and nobody was freaking out – no shouting, no ostracizing, no big outward reactions at all. It did kinda look like people were freaking in, though - everyone seemed to be holding their breath, completely motionless, and anxiously waiting for him to do something crazy.

Among the creepy quiet stares of his classmates, not to mention Mr. Harrington, he and Ned went to sit down. Somehow the mundane task of taking his seat startled the girl next to him so badly she made a spastic jerky motion which launched her papers onto the floor between them. This was the same girl he'd been sitting beside all year. Despite being completely embarrassed, he wasn't an asshole, so he picked up her papers and handed them to her. In response, she paled and squeaked at him. In the quiet hush off the classroom, that squeak sounded like the pound of a gavel, sentencing him to be the center of attention for the rest of the foreseeable future. Thankfully, after a few more seconds of panicked-charged silence, one awkward throat clearing from Mr. Harrington and class began.

He could feel his classmates casting him furtive glances throughout the first half of the class and it was clear nobody was paying any attention to Mr. Harrington. The stress of sitting next to him had the paper-flailing girl white-knuckling her pencil so hard it looked like it was going to snap in half. She had yet to take a single note.

With 30 minutes left of class, he was finally deemed boring enough to ignore as he hadn't done anything other than appear to be listening to Mr. Harrington. He felt himself slowly relax into his chair. Aside from the distinct lack of 'Penis Parker' from Flash behind him, nothing ended up being dramatically different for the rest of the class.

The only real change was that Peter didn't put up his hand to answer any questions. Questions he would've answered without a second thought last week, he couldn't bring himself to answer now. Just the thought of speaking in front of everyone now that they knew his deepest secret made him hunch down in his seat even further and he could feel his ears begin to burn red with mortification.

He didn't answer a single question in any of the classes because they all contained at least one person who now knew he was Spiderman. When called upon, he couldn't even bring himself to speak, he just slumped down further in his chair and shook his head as if he didn't know the answer. It was such uncharacteristic behavior that the teachers cut him some slack, assuming he wasn't feeling well. Except for Mr. Harrington, who didn't call on Peter at all and ignored him almost completely. Unknowingly adding to Peter's anxiety about being seen as abnormal.

* * *

"I am NOT eating in the bathroom, Peter." Ned's reaction to Peter's bid to avoid the cafeteria during lunch was unimpressed.

Peter got it. He didn't particularly want to eat beside the urinals either, but he couldn't handle being surrounded by the whole school – even if the majority of them had no idea anything was different. He was so worried about Flash doing something to "accidentally" out Peter as Spiderman in front of the whole school.

"Okay, okay, fine." Peter made a 'calm down' motion with his hands and instead tried to appeal to Ned's Avenger obsession. "How about we pull a Hawkeye and break into the ceiling ducts? He eats all of his meals up there when he's at the tower."

Ned shook his head and stated, "I'm 'Guy in the Chair' not 'Guy in the Ventilation System'."

Taking a moment to assess his best friend allowed Ned to see just how distraught Peter really was over this whole thing. He himself thought it was awesome and had been trying to convince Peter to tell everyone anyway. They wouldn't have to deal with Flash and his bullying anymore and Peter would be able to go out with anyone he wanted. Win-Win! Clearly Peter was too caught up in the now to appreciate the future prospects, so Ned caved.

"Fine. We can eat in the gym."

Peter's cheer and emphatic gratitude was really quite pathetic. Ned just patted him on the head as he led the way.

* * *

By the end of the day Peter was feeling better. Sure the 30-some students that knew he was Spiderman stared at him in the halls, but nobody had said anything and the people he'd been really worried about (mainly Flash) hadn't said a word. Not a single "Penis Parker" all day. The peace was actually kind of nice. Weird, but nice.

This unbelievable trend continued for the rest of the week. By Friday Peter was back to his old self, answering questions and participating. It seemed like his classmates had just needed a few days to get comfortable and realize that he was still the same awkward kid they'd known for years. That morning he had cheerfully welcomed the first Penis Parker since the incident with a 'Good Morning, Flash!' Thrilled things seemed back to normal.

A nearby MJ shook her head and muttered, "You're all idiots."

Peter and Ned watched as she approached them and continued to criticize classmates, "It took them long enough. If they had used the vapid watermelons masquerading as their brains, they would've figured out you were Spiderman months ago."

Staring at Michelle in disbelief, they both stuttered out, "W-what?"

"Do you even know what subtle means?" She gave the pair of them a flat look and started ticking off on her fingers, "Peter, you literally spend _Chem lab_ developing webbing in a drawer. The two of you talk about Spiderman constantly, and the number of times I've heard Ned ask about your potential to hatch spider eggs in hopes of creating a spider army is disturbing. If conspicuous was the name of the game, you'd be winning. Since it's not, you're both still losers." With that, she pulled out her sketchbook and walked away.

Peter and Ned blinked at her departure.

Ned finally shrugged it off, "I mean, she's not wrong."

Peter's shoulders drooped at their rampant idiocy and groaned, putting his face in his hands.

* * *

Flash had been watching Parker all week – following him and eavesdropping as much as he could in order to reconcile the fact that measly, annoying Penis Parker was actually Spiderman, the amazing, crime fighting bad-ass. After a week of mild-stalking, he still couldn't wrap his melon around it. Although, MJ was right, now that he thought about it: Parker and Leeds never shut the hell up about Spiderman. The two of them constantly talked about the Avengers and whatever criminal Spiderman faced the night before.  
In spite of that, if Flash hadn't seen Peter web up the Hulk with his own eyes, he would never believe he was the masked superhero.

Last night, the news showed footage of Spiderman stopping a mob-related drug deal. He had been shot at multiple times, but handled it with some insane parkour shit and really terrible jokes. Cut to this morning and Peter Parker and Ned Leeds are geeking out over Lego in the school's band room as if one of them hadn't nearly died the night before. Like, what in the actual hell? Was it a split personality thing? Was Spiderman actually a mentally deranged teenager?

Peter Parker was just so…vanilla. So mild that Flash, having had enough of tip-toeing around, risked calling him 'Penis'. He couldn't help himself. Would Parker flip out or would he just begrudgingly ignore Flash like always? Turns out, neither of those options. Instead he smiled like a simpleton and said 'Good Morning, Flash!' as though Flash was making his day.

Flash found the whole thing infuriating. Somehow Parker had access to unbelievable power and he was wasting it. What Flash wouldn't give to have those abilities. Where Parker allowed himself to get crushed in the hallway by mobs of students getting to class, Flash would be swinging through the halls or walking on the ceiling. Where Parker pretended to struggle through routine gym exercises, Flash would be the star of every sports team. Flash would command respect and admiration from everyone. And he definitely wouldn't be anchoring himself to the likes of Ned Leeds.

Standing there dripping with envy, Flash's jealousy grew until it was ugly and twisted and malicious. Parker didn't deserve everything he had: his abilities, his relationship with Tony Stark, the Avengers, and the mantel of Spiderman. He resolved then to make sure Parker knew he was undeserving and worthless; to make sure everyone knew.

* * *

Standing with Ned by the lockers, watching MJ leave, Peter felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand to attention as his spider senses pinged. Looking around, he couldn't see anything out of the ordinary except for Flash glaring at him at from the other side of the hall. He watched as Flash glared a few seconds longer and then stormed off in an angry huff.

'Umm, ok.' Peter thought, but shrugged it off in favour of gushing with Ned over the latest Stark phone specs just released.

* * *

 **A/N:**

Kinda short, but I'm working on the next chapter. I will admit I don't know too much about Flash. All I really know is from Spiderman:Homecoming, so he's probably not as evil as I'm making him out to be.

As always, I'd love to know what you think! It makes my dang day! Thank you!


	3. Chapter 3

"Hey Friday!" Peter waved at the camera as he stepped into the elevator. "Can you take me up to Mr. Stark's lab, please and thanks?"

"Good day, Peter." The AI greeted. "Most certainly."

Peter dropped his book bag on the floor after pulling out a packet of gummy bears and slouched against the wall.

"So, how was your day?" He normally spent the elevator rides catching up with the AI. It took a bit to get to the 75th floor.

"My day was very good, thank you for asking. Boss was called out early, so it's been nice and quiet around here. How was school? How's Ned?" Friday's voice, as usual, was warm and welcoming when speaking with Peter. It always made him think she was smiling.

"Ned is great! I'll tell him you asked." Friday asking about Ned was gonna make his friend's whole year. "Today was great too. The best day I've had all week, actually." He said brightly, thinking about how things seemed to be finally normalizing at school. He threw 3 gummy bears in the air and caught them all in his mouth.

"Nice." Friday's Scottish voice complimented.

Peter grinned at her camera and walked through the opening doors as she dropped him off at his destination.

"You're the best, Friday! Thanks!"

"I know and you're quite welcome."

Friday had turned on all the lights in Mr. Stark's lab before he opened the door. As soon as he stepped through, he was bombarded with a series of excited whirs and beeps from Dum-E and U. Dummy was racing around him like the most demented dog ever and U was poking at his backpack.

"Hey fellas! What's up?" He gave them each a pat on what passed for their heads and walked over to his favourite area in the corner of the lab. Before Peter started frequenting Mr. Stark's lab, there wasn't any comfortable seating. After Peter fell asleep at the various workstations one too many times, Tony had set up an awesome little corner close to the bots' charging stations with a couch, chairs, coffee table, non-alcoholic wet bar, and tv.

"You guys haven't seen my calculus homework anywhere, have you?" He started lifting off couch cushions and checking under chairs. "I'm pretty sure I left it here the other day."

The bots beeped at him in response and started canvasing the area, knocking objects off surfaces with a great deal of smashing and clanking, as if his homework was hiding under the likes of beakers and wrenches.

"Whoa! OK! Ok, that's great! Thank you! Your help is super helpful, but I found it, so you can stop looking!" He lied, frantically waving a blank piece of paper as if it was his found homework.

He had to stop Dum-E in particular from "helping" as he was nearing one of Mr. Stark's cars. The robot looked like he was about to unleash his brand of searching on the vehicle. If Dum-E managed to bust his way in under the hood looking for Peter's homework in the car's intake manifold or oil pan, Mr. Stark would literally donate him to a local community college. Peter would just have to ask Friday to help him find his papers later.

DUM-E's claw came up in the "Woo!" motion Peter had taught him and he instantly zoomed off behind his charging station to retrieve his favourite toy: a small red and gold ironman beach ball, which he then dumped on Peter's lap for him to throw. Peter had taught the bots fetch when Mr. Stark wanted him in the lab, but didn't want him to actually touch anything - 'You just spent almost three hours playing video games with Clint. If you're not going outside to play with your little friends or help the elderly population across streets, then you're going to be down here using your brain instead of tenderizing it into the same useless pile of mush as Clint's. He's already clinically brain dead, it's too late for him, but there's still a little time left for you. Here, solve this.' Mr. Stark had a seemingly endless supply of tricky engineering, physics, chemistry, and math questions at the ready for whenever Peter was proving to be too much of a hopeless teenager. By the time he finished the problems (or got stuck), Mr. Stark was always too deeply entrenched in his own work to talk to Peter, so Peter had resorted to playing with the bots. Sometimes he just came down to hang out with them instead of Mr. Stark.

"Alright, buddy, you ready?"

Dum-E was vibrating - excited charges surging through his circuitry - as Peter raised the ball to throw.

He launched it across the open side of the room near the door, free of any machinery and experiments. U made a half-hearted attempt at fetching it too, but he quickly deduced that there was no point. As soon as the ball left Peter's hand, Dum-E had let out a tremendous BEEP and raced after it with a speed U had no hope to match.

"Don't worry about it, U. While he's fetching that, you and I can work on our handshake some more."

Dum-E had reached the ball, but it was gonna be a little while before he was back with it. Picking up the toy proved a little problematic. Each time he went to grab it, he ended up pushing it a little further away. He was overly gentle, not wanting to puncture it like its 10 predecessors. He'd eventually get it, though, and would be whizzing right back to Peter to start the process all over again. It was a great exercise in fine-motor skills, which Peter suspected was the only reason Mr. Stark allowed him to do it.

Peter yelled out a supportive "You're doing great, Dum-E. You got this, bud!" and received a series of bolstered chirps from the bot, who was way off in the far corner of the lab.

He held out his hand to U, "Alright, let's do this."

25 minutes later found Dum-E unable to rotate his claw due to some incident Peter had not witnessed. There'd been a crash followed by a loud mournful beep, and then Dum-E had wheeled himself over to Peter, claw drooping.

Gently taking the appendage in his hand, Peter examined it while U looked over his shoulder. Dum-E had managed to jam up his rotator with some sort of goo as well as bend the hell out of one of his fingers, which would require removal and re-wiring. Peter was more than capable of fixing it.

"It's okay, Dum-E, I can fix your finger and de-goo everything, no problem."

He led them over to one of Mr. Stark's benches (the one with the least amount of breakables) and proceeded to clean out the goo and then set to fixing everything.

After 50 minutes he was almost finished. He just had to solder closed a small hole he had accidentally made (whoops!) and then Dum-E would be good as new. He was interrupted by the clearing of a throat. Looking up, he saw Sergeant James Barnes menacing over by the door. He hadn't had any interaction with the Sergeant since the incident at the airport. He knew the guy was at the tower, but he generally kept to himself in his rooms. Peter had overheard Steve and Sam talking about him giving them the slip to hunt down Hydra bases a little while ago. He knew Steve didn't want his friend fighting alone.

"Uhhh….?" Peter trailed off, intimidated.

"Is Stark in?"

"Uh, n-no, sorry, Mr. Stark's not here. But I'm sure he'll be back soon. Super soon. In, like, no time." He assured, not wanting to anger the Winter Solder. "Friday, when is Mr. Stark coming back?"

"Boss won't be back until tomorrow night."

Peter gulped when he saw Sergeant Barnes' jaw clench in frustration. Whatever he needed Mr. Stark for he clearly didn't want to wait a day. Peter's enhanced eyesight saw a faint tremor jolt through the man's metal arm and its plates spasm in response.

Stupidly, Peter said, "That doesn't look good. I just fixed Dum-E's arm, I could fix yours too" and then cringed. What. An. Idiot. He basically just clumped the Winter Soldier's killer arm in the same category as Dum-E's gooed up, arcade claw.

The man looked down at his arm and them over at Dum-E's claw and raised an eyebrow. "Do you know what you're doing?"

Peter shrugged, but was starting to get a little excited at the prospect of looking at the mechanics of the arm up close and personal, despite the scary assassin attached to it.

"I can take a looksee and if it turns out I don't know what's wrong, then I won't mess with it and you can wait till tomorrow for Mr. Stark."

He turned back around to Dum-E and finished up the last touches. He senses picked up that Barnes was quietly coming closer until the man was near enough to watch as he worked. Peter tensed. His spider senses weren't tingling, but his Peter senses were freaking out because the man was wearing all black and was scary. He tried his best to ignore him and focus on Dum-E.

"There you go, bud. Good as new! There's a little scar, sure, but the ladies dig em'."

Barnes snorted quietly and Peter relaxed a bit at the small, but distinct, sign of humanity.

"So, what's going on with your arm? Which I think is insanely awesome, by the way."

Barnes huffed, "Yes, you made that clear last time." He held out his arm, "You saw, it keeps tremoring."

"Wanna sit down?" Peter patted the seat beside him in invitation. "It's easier to look at under the light over here."

Barnes sat down beside him and Peter's only thought was, 'Dude huge.'

He leaned in close and watched as another surge went through the arm. 'Hmm...'

"Can I look at your shoulder?"

Barnes rolled his sleeve up until his shoulder was exposed and Peter pulled the light over.

"I think the panel right here will need to be removed. It looks as though something is messing with the relay, which I'm assuming is up here somewhere…"Peter grew quiet as he spotted a bit of blood splattered on the upper portion of the arm.

Barnes looked at him emotionlessly for a long moment (Peter tried not to hyperventilate) before reaching over with his flesh hand and unlatching a small panel, which would allow Peter to look inside where he specified.

Peter bit his lip to keep any embarrassing noises from escaping. He was slightly terrified, sure, but this was one of the coolest things he'd ever seen. He grabbed a screw driver – 'I'm not gonna unscrew anything, I promise, I'm just gonna move things aside so I can see any obstruction.' – and got to work.

Bucky looked at the scrawny teenager poking around his arm with humor. The kid was wearing khakis and a green, old man sweater with a flannel collar. He was the most unobtrusive and unsuspecting superhero he'd ever met, aside from Banner. That this was the unitarded man-child who had stopped his metal fist one-handedly, _like it was nothing_ , was a hard concept to wrap his broken mind around. He knew Steve really liked the kid. The entire team did. He was apparently charming and quirky, with a pension for chattering non-stop. Which you'd never given how silent he was at the moment. The high schooler was clearly intimidated by him, which gave Bucky got a smug, comedic thrill. Nobody on the team was intimidated by him anymore. The amount of times Clint had stuck fridge magnets to his arm was embarrassing and Tony, whose parents Bucky had mindlessly murdered, called him Snowflake. So, sue him, it was nice to be recognized as petrifying every once in a while. He hammed it up by remaining silent and emotionless, though inside he was cackling like the troll Steve knew him to be.

It wasn't painful, but Bucky could feel the pressure of wires and pieces being moved around. Usually Bucky didn't like anyone messing with his arm as it reminded him too much of Hydra's scientists, but Peter was so focused that his tongue had started poking out the side of his mouth in concentration and he had started quietly humming some jingle Bucky didn't recognize.

 _'Holy shit, this is so amazing! Be cool, Peter, be cool. Who's cool? Yeah, you're cool.'_ Peter had to keep himself in check with every amazing piece of engineering he encountered in just this small area of the arm. It was unlike anything he'd ever seen before and he had helped Tony with the Ironman suit once. For a glorious 20 minutes. Until he had been kicked out of the lab for breaking off one of the suits pinkies.

"AH HA!" Peter grabbed a pair of tweezers and yanked out the offending piece of debris that was screwing things up and brandished it at Bucky. "I fixed it! Yeah, I _am_ cool! It was this thing!...wait, what is this thing?" Peter looked at the miniscule ivory shard trapped between the pincers of his tweezers. "Is this… _bone_?!" Peter looked at Bucky with wide eyes.

Bucky made sure to look as assassin-y as possible when replying, "Maybe."

"Is…is it…your bone?"

"Doubted." It definitely wasn't. The bits of blood and bone belonged to the Hydra scum he had annihilated two days ago. It had gotten messy.

Peter felt like gagging, but was also undeniably impressed with the dude's badassery. The man had been walking around with a piece of _someone else's bone_ stuck in his arm for who knew how long.

It was at that moment Steve Rogers entered the lab.

"Bucky! Here you are. Uh, hi Peter." When Friday said Bucky was in the lab, Steve had assumed Tony was working on Bucky's arm. It was a little worrying to see Peter working on Bucky's arm without Tony anywhere in sight. "What's going on?"

"Nothing. The kid's just tinkering with my arm." Bucky said dismissively.

"Tinkering?!" Peter cried indignantly. "I _fixed_ your arm, thank me very much!" Turning to Steve, he tattled, "He had a chunk of some dude's bone stuck in here, messing everything up, and his arm was covered in blood." He knew Bucky wasn't supposed to be out fighting and he knew Steve would lay into him at the clear signs he had been. That'll teach the ungrateful terminator.

Peter felt great vindication (and slight terror) at the surprised look on Bucky's face as he ratted him out.

"It was not 'covered in blood', you little punk. And 'chunk of bone'? It was less than a mm wide." Bucky stood up and closed the latch covering the interior of his arm.

Peter looked a little sheepish at his outburst. "Fine. I'm sorry. How does it feel now?"

Bucky did a few recalibration movements without issue. "Good." He looked at Peter, "Thank you. I appreciate it. Even if you are a bit of a narc."

With that, he ruffled Peter's hair _'I'm not a dog! Why does everyone keep doing that?!'_ and walked out of the lab with Steve while lamenting the youths of today.

Peter sat on the bench and tried to fix his hair while muttering about 'Goddamn, cybernetic-armed assholes.'

His angry mutters were met with a series of sad, questioning beeps.

"Oh no! Not you, Dum-E. You're a cybernetic-armed delight. Now let's clean up that mystery goo before Mr. Stark comes home."

* * *

A/N: Yay Bucky and Peter! I wasn't planning on writing that, but the words just typed themselves. Hopefully you enjoyed. I'd love to hear what you think (makes my day!). Till next time :)


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